Tanya's Journey

Sad, but true. I don't know who my characters are anymore. They used to be so alive for me, so real! I wrote the whole novel in a breeze while I worked night shift. I was so giddy, so excited. I would speak to them all the time, and I would swear I hear their answers. Then I finished the novel, and the editing began. I got my story read my several good beta readers who really helped me out by pointing out the good and bad. What needed work, what would help to make the story my own, more real, more authentic. I was giddy at the prospect of restarting....and I wasn't. I mean, I've written four novels, and this is the one my readers loved the most. I was terrifying of touching it, of making it worse. Even though I knew what could make it better. I still have not edited it. I've made it to....seven chapters? I think. And it took everything out of me to take it this far. Now, this morning, I'm writing a little and I realise that my characters don't speak to me anymor...

It's Labor day and there's a Criminal Minds marathon on television. Now, for those who watch it, I'm warning you this may contain spoilers. I've only seen episodes on and off for a couple of years now, but since moving into our home, we got satelite tv and I'm able to catch more of CM. It's a drug: I flip channels constantly, hoping to catch a glimpse of these people. Their lives. Their profiles. The killers. I don't know why: I'm not usually into such dark, raw shows, but there it is. I blame the hormones. Anywho, I've been slowly catching up to the series, seeing where the profilers have been, where they're heading in their professional and personal lives. And the one we know the most about is Hotchner, and his wife. Hotch is dedicated, professional, strict and loyal to a fault. The first show I saw this morning was Hotch at home, waiting for a transfer to go through. He gets phone calls from his team members because they need his help. And his...

September of last year brought a big change for my fiancé and I: we had to get rid of our two cats. My doctor had said that she wouldn't treat my asthma anymore because the sole reason for it was my cats. Which meant I had to say goodbye to them. It broke my heart, as well as my fiancé's. My cat, I'd had for 8 years; his for 6. The house was empty and Sam decided to go out and buy me some birds. I loved them. They were so cute and were easy to care for. That was when we lived in our bachelor pad. But now? We live in a house and there's really nowhere to put them. They'd been in the baby room, but now we're cleaning it out to make it ready for the baby. And we have nowhere for the birds. I told Sam I wanted to get rid of them. He understood. After all, when the baby's here, I really won't have time for them. But now, it's empty again in the house. *sigh* On a happier note, we're getting the baby's room ready! I didn't want a theme room wit...