Still miss you so much
In 2 days it'll be 19 years since you've passed, and I still miss you so much. I wish I'd known you longer. My memories of you are so few and far apart, now. You wanted to die at 65 - and you did. Two months shy of your 66th birthday. When I see the struggling elderly, I understand why you wanted to die young. But you've missed out on so much. Missed out on my wedding and my children. My brother finding his forever family. My sister blossoming in her career. My cousins growing and having families of their own. You also missed out on family members that have pulled away. You're missing out on your great-grandkids. My kids are 14 and 12 now. You would've loved them. I think about you a lot, still. I wish I would've known you as an adult, an equal. My memories of you are of you being bigger than life, but were you really? Or was I just small? Did I only see myself as your grandchild, and unable to take up space? You didn't like having your picture take...