Teeter-Tottering

Sitting on one end, completely alone. I push off the sand, smile, but it doesn't last. My legs fold until I'm seated back on the ground. My chin drops, wobbles;

I don't want to play this game anymore. It isn't fun. 

Suddenly my feet leave the ground as you drop into place.

Your eyes twinkle and I smile, delighted. 

You guide me to lift my legs and cross them over the plank and we sit there, 

perfectly balanced.

Same height, same build, same weight on our shoulders.

The world falls and I hit the ground with a jarring thud.

I cry out as pain shoots up my spine and my teeth smack together. 

I look around.

Where did you go? Why did you leave me?

I push my shaking legs into the sand which shifts, makes me slip. 

I grit my teeth, will myself up. My knee joints protest and my arms are shaking; 

it was much easier when we were two.

Finally, I am standing and there's a smile on my lips; 

I made it on my own!

How had I not seen that success the first time around?

I stand tall, proud, feel the warmth of the sun on my face as I grin up to the sky.

Then, the weight is lifted off my feet again and my heart sinks. 

You take up the seat that was always yours, your wide brown eyes brimming with sorrow and love.

I'm afraid. 

But apologies and humbleness surround you, and I know you've changed.

I take a chance on us. And nod slowly. 

We resume our balance.

This time, you teach me to lean back all the way, feel the stretch in my arms as my body tilts back.

My head is thrown in abandon and I'm basking in the warmth surrounding me, 

healing me, and warming me in places I didn't even know

were cold. 

I dropped back down, hit my head on the ground, scramble for purchase

when my fingers threaten to let go.

I can't believe I let that happen again.

Tears pool, then flow, onto my cheeks, into the sand beneath me. 

I feel its grittiness, feel it in my hair and I sit up, curious.

I unlace my shoes, pull them off, peal off my socks and toss them away.

I push myself up and my feet slip, sink, and I panic. 

But then I stabilize and sand shifts between my toes, tickling me.

I giggle.

The grains have absorbed the sun's warmth and it soothes me for a moment until suddenly, 

the sand is too hot. 

It's burning, I want my shoes back on. 

I start my descent but your voice echoes in my mind, 

keep digging.

I straighten, shift my feet until they're breaking under the surface and find 

the cool sand.

The relief is immediate and I'm able to solidify my stance, 

balance myself on my own two feet. 

A wide smile slowly spreads across my face as I stand there

and take root.