Tanya's Journey

Sitting on one end, completely alone. I push off the sand, smile, but it doesn't last. My legs fold until I'm seated back on the ground. My chin drops, wobbles; I don't want to play this game anymore. It isn't fun.   Suddenly my feet leave the ground as you drop into place. Your eyes twinkle and I smile, delighted.  You guide me to lift my legs and cross them over the plank and we sit there,  perfectly balanced. Same height, same build, same weight on our shoulders. The world falls and I hit the ground with a jarring thud. I cry out as pain shoots up my spine and my teeth smack together.  I look around. Where did you go? Why did you leave me ? I push my shaking legs into the sand which shifts, makes me slip.  I grit my teeth, will myself up. My knee joints protest and my arms are shaking;  it was much easier when we were two. Finally, I am standing and there's a smile on my lips;  I made it on my own! How had I not seen that success the first time arou...

She arrived early; I knew she would. Her left hand shoots up; devoid of the wedding band I once gave her. She waves enthusiastically, stands. I nod in greeting, and she follows me to the counter to wait. "I have something for you", she sings, she's grinning. I feel my lips twitch; I'd forgotten how infectious her happiness can be. She slips tiny papers from and envelope and hands them to me: wallet-sized pictures of our kids.  I smile softly. "Thanks," I say simply but it's heartfelt and I know she can feel it. She grins, pleased. Then she hands me the envelope which contains our marriage certificate; my smile slips. We sign the official documents, the lady across us apposes her seal and the deal is done: our divorce papers are ready to be sent to court.  My eyes flick down to her ringless hand, and then to the new band adorning my own. My gaze, back to her face, her smile and I silently pray: please let this be a new beginning for us both.

You deleted me from facebook.  I did the same on messenger.  We no longer email or text.  We don't talk. I miss you,  But then I don't.  Memories of you appear,  Suddenly. Unbidden.  And I smile, fondly.  I yearn to reach out. Yearn to talk.  Yearn to learn you,  All over again. But then I stop. And think. Of how much I've grown,  Away from you.  A challenge I thought,  Impossible. And I realise,  No, remember ,  Why we have to go through this,  I remember why this is Necessary. We still have so much Growing up to do. We'll meet up someday,  Of this I'm sure. We'll meet up, As equals. Climbing side-by-side, Once again. I can't wait.